When Kids Are Listening: Food, Bodies, and the Messages We Don’t Mean to Send 

A few weeks ago, as part of our Parent Education Speaker Series, we welcomed nutrition therapist and educator Natalie Joffe for a powerful conversation titled When Kids Are Listening: Food, Bodies, and Parental Influence.  

Natalie’s presentation was powerful. For me, it is one that has lingered.  

Not because it offered dramatic new rules or complicated strategies. But because it invited us to slow down and examine something deeply cultural, deeply personal, and deeply influential: the messages our children absorb about food, bodies, and worth. 

One of the most striking reminders from Natalie’s presentation was how early children internalize body bias. By kindergarten, many children already associate “fat” with something negative. By middle school, a significant percentage of girls report weight concerns and many have already tried dieting  

These are not high school problems; they are childhood problems. And they are not innate. Body size bias is learned. While this reality can feel heavy, it can also hopeful. If these beliefs are learned, they can be interrupted.

For me, perhaps the most important takeaway was this: parental modeling is one of the strongest and most consistent influences on a child’s relationship with food and body. Our children absorb the meaning beneath our words and actions, not just what we intend.  

They hear the sigh when we step on the scale. They notice when we label food “good” or “bad.” They internalize when exercise is framed primarily as a way to “burn off” what was eaten. 

This is not about blame. It is about awareness. Diet culture is powerful. Most of us were raised inside of it. Many of us are still unwinding it. What Natalie offered was not perfection, but permission: when we mess up, because we will, just repair it. This is a message deeply aligned with how we educate at Forest Ridge. Growth happens in reflection, not shame. 

Natalie introduced the distinction between a “diet mentality”, rooted in restriction, rules, and external control, and a non-diet or intuitive approach grounded in flexibility and self-trust. Instead of asking Is this food good or bad? Will this make me gain weight? we should encourage our students to ask, Am I hungry? What will feel satisfying? What supports my body today? 

As a school committed to educating girls who think critically and lead bravely, this distinction matters. Self-trust is not just about food. It is foundational to leadership. When girls learn to distrust their hunger cues, to override their bodies, or to equate worth with appearance, that erosion of trust extends far beyond the dinner table. 

I was especially moved by Natalie’s closing message: the goal is not to raise children who never have bad body days. The goal is to raise children who understand that their body is not a problem to be solved. 

At Forest Ridge, we speak often about forming confident, compassionate, courageous young women. That formation includes helping them see themselves as whole. We know that girls’ confidence often drops during adolescence, particularly in areas tied to visibility and performance. Layer diet culture onto that developmental moment, and the stakes increase. 

Every comment we shift, every repair we model, every time we choose body neutrality over body criticism, we are building something protective. We are widening the definition of health, we are strengthening self-trust, we are nurturing resilience. And perhaps most importantly, we are reminding our daughters, and ourselves, that worth is inherent, not earned through appearance. 

And this conversation does not end here. 

At Forest Ridge, we believe that educating girls means partnering closely with parents and caregivers in the work of supporting their growth and well-being. Through our Parent Education Speaker Series, we seek to create opportunities for our community to engage with leading voices whose work helps us better understand the social, emotional, and developmental experiences of girls today. 

With that spirit in mind, I hope you will join us on Thursday, March 26 at 6:00 pm as we welcome acclaimed author and journalist Donna Jackson Nakazawa to campus to discuss her newest book, Girls on the Brink. In this important work, Nakazawa explores the growing mental health challenges facing adolescent girls and offers research-based insights for parents, educators, and communities seeking to better support them. Drawing on neuroscience, psychology, and stories from families and young people themselves, she examines why many girls today feel unprecedented pressure, and what adults can do to help cultivate resilience, confidence, and emotional well-being. 

To deepen this conversation, I will also be hosting a parent book discussion on Thursday, March 19 at 8:30 am at Forest Ridge. This informal gathering will give parents an opportunity to reflect on the book together and share perspectives as a community ahead of Nakazawa’s visit. 

Given the importance of this topic, we warmly invite you to bring friends, family members, and colleagues to the March 26 event. To help us prepare, please register in advance here.

Raising confident, healthy, and resilient girls is not work that schools do alone. It is a shared endeavor between educators, families, and community. I hope you will join us as we continue learning together.